Map Of Your Head
by ladyxa
Summary: When Cas is hurt, Dean gets to see something much too personal. Complications ensue. Destiel, Wing!fic
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys. Since my last oneshot seemed to work out pretty well, I decided I'd write a proper fic. I don't know how long it'll be and stuff, basically I'm just making stuff up as I go along. First chapter is always rather short, because I want to know what everyone thinks before I continue. So please, leave reviews, tell me what you think so I know whether or not I should go on with the fic! It's very _very_ much appreciated. **

"Damn it, Cas!"

Dean quickly swallowed the rest of his rant as the angel whom had just appeared in front of him, collapsed on the spot.

"What the-"

"Dean.."

The hunter kneeled down next to the angel, grabbing his shoulders in a fit of panic. "Cas, what the hell is going on? Say something!"

There was blood dripping out of Castiel's nose, and blood oozing from the middle of his chest. His coat and shirt were completely stained. There was a faint sheen of sweat on Cas' forehead.

He looked up at Dean in a daze.

"That's it," Dean muttered.

He scooped Cas up, the only reason he could do this being that the angel was apparently drained of mojo, and lay him gently on his motel bed. Cas groaned, closing his eyes. Suddenly, Dean felt himself being thrown backwards, smacking against the wall with a thud. The light-bulbs cracked and shattered, leaving the room in total darkness. Dean blinked, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dark, when there was a flash, making the hunter cover up his eyes. When the white light behind his hands had faded, he slowly lowered them. What he saw took his breath away.

Castiel was still lying on the bed with his eyes closed, but a light was surrounding him. Long, dark shadows were stretched over the bed and the floor, until Dean realised they weren't shadows. They were Cas' wings. The first thing Dean noticed was how huge they were. They filled almost half the room. The second thing Dean noticed was how beautiful they were. Hundreds of shiny, black-blue feathers, fluffier at the base and growing more slim and long at the tips. The light surrounding Cas reflected slightly on the wings, causing them to shimmer.

Dean couldn't stop staring, his jaw on the ground. He noticed the feathers were slightly ruffled, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to walk over, run his hands gently over them and straighten them. He was too shocked to even move, though. The wings gave a tiny flutter, causing Dean to jump, and then they disappeared again. The room was pitch black, with the hunter still pressed against the wall, his mouth gaping.

That's how Sam found him when he walked inside the door.

"Dude, I've got the grub-" he stopped mid-sentence. "What the fuck?!"

He ran over to Dean, not having spotted Cas yet. He pulled his trembling brother up, checking him to make sure he was okay.

"Dean, are you all right?" he demanded.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," Dean muttered, absent-mindedly pushing Sam away.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, bewildered.

"You got a flash-light or something?"

Sam nodded, reaching into his pockets and pulling out a torch. "What's going on, man?"

Dean shook his head, taking the torch. "I have no freakin' clue."

He shone the light onto his bed, heaving a huge sigh of relief when Cas was still lying there, his eyes closed.

"Holy crap! What happened to him?"

"I don't know, Sammy. He just appeared and then.. he collapsed," Dean exclaimed, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the angel.

Sam leaned forward, lifting Cas' shirt up to reveal the gaping hole in his chest. "Jesus Christ," he muttered.

"Sammy, he's gonna be okay, right?" Dean asked desperately.

Sam swallowed. "What happened that made all the lights go out?"

Dean didn't reply for a while. "I.. I'm not sure. The room lit up, I think it was his Grace."

He wasn't sure what had made him keep quiet about the wing part, but he was glad he hadn't blabbed.

"Okay. First, we need to get some light in here. I'll go down and tell the receptionist that our power's gone or something, and get some candles or whatever. Don't move," Sam ordered, and he left.

When Sam had left, Dean leaned over the angel, searching his face.

"Cas? Can you hear me, man?"

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

"Castiel, I fucking swear, if you die on me I'm going.. I'm gonna.." Dean didn't know how to finish his sentence, so he didn't.

Cas' eyelids fluttered, and the hunter laughed in relief. "Cas!"

"I'm not going to die, Dean," the angel murmured. "I need to rest and heal."

"Sure, 'course.. uhh.. anything we can do?"

"No," Cas answered shortly, before closing his eyes again.

Dean stared at him for a while. "Right. Yeah. Okay."

A few moments later Sam returned with a couple of lightbulbs, replacing the shattered remains of the old ones and switching the lights back on.

"Cas says he's all right. He just needs to rest and heal."

Sam frowned. "When the hell did he say that?"

"Just now. Look, Sam, I don't know 'bout you, but I could use a good night's sleep right now. I've had enough weirdness for one night," Dean exclaimed, glancing at Cas.

"Yeah. Tomorrow we can find out what the fuck happened to Cas. Right now, we all just need to rest," Sam agreed.

Dean grabbed extra blankets from under the bed, and made his way to the couch. They both threw a last, worried glance at Castiel before switching the light off and trying to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews. Enjoy!**

Dean groaned, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake up properly. The room was quiet, save for Sam's light snores. He opened his eyes, blinking slowly. Wait, why was he lying on the couch..? He jumped up.

"Shit! Cas?"

"I'm right here."

Dean spun around to see Castiel standing by the window, staring outside. He rushed towards him.

"Hey, man! How are you feeling?" he asked, putting a hand on Cas' arm.

To his surprise, the angel moved away from the touch. "I'm fine, Dean."

Dean stared at him in confusion as Cas avoided his eyes. "Dude, what the-"

"Cas?"

Sam had apparently woken up after Dean's yell. "How are you, man?"

As Sam also neared them, Cas started to back away, looking uncomfortable.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Dean demanded, staring at him incredulously.

Sam frowned, looking from one to the other. "Am I missing something here? What the hell happened to you yesterday?"

Cas turned to him solemnly. "The war in Heaven is worse than ever. It is claiming more lives than anyone could have imagined."

"One of your brothers did this to you?" Sam asked, shocked.

Cas nodded. "He reached inside my chest and tried to rip out my grace. He almost succeeded, but he lost focus for one single moment. I managed to escape in that small moment. I was very lucky."

"That's why it took you such a long time to heal," Dean remarked, glancing at Cas' still blood-stained clothes and coat.

"Yes," Cas answered shortly.

It hadn't escaped Dean that the angel hadn't looked him in the eyes once.

"So now what? Are you going back?" Sam asked.

"I.. I don't know. It doesn't seem like the most clever thing to do since I am still very weak. I wouldn't be of any use in a battle right now," Cas answered doubtfully.

"Good. I think you should stay for a while," Dean said loudly.

Sam and Cas turned to him in surprise. _Yeah, that got your attention._

"Dean, you know I have business to attend to in Heaven," Cas said coolly, although Dean could detect a hint of confusion in his eyes.

"Yeah well, too bad for them. You almost got killed last night and I'll be fucked if I'm letting you go back any time soon," the eldest Winchester answered firmly.

"You do realise that you don't have any control over my staying or leaving, I could just leave when you aren't paying attention or when you're asleep -"

"Damn it Cas, you know what I mean," Dean snarled.

"I think Dean's right, Cas. I think you should take some time off, rest for a while," Sam butted in.

"See? It's a good idea," Dean exclaimed.

Cas looked from one Winchester to the other, his gaze lingering on one for a moment before settling on his shoes.

"I think.. you might be right," he then admitted.

"So you'll stay?" Dean pushed on.

"I'll stay."

"Good. You could help us hunt," Sam suggested, walking towards the bathroom and running his hand through his hair sleepily.

Now that the drama was over, he realised how tired he was. He decided a nice, long shower would help that.

Dean and Cas were left alone in the room. Cas turned away, walking the opposite direction of where Dean was standing.

"I don't know how much use I will be if I am to help you during your cases. I am weakened and not in full capability of my powers," he said quietly, still looking everywhere but Dean.

"That's okay, Cas. I'll – we'll teach you how to use weapons."

Cas nodded. Dean could only see the back of his head.

"Right, that's it. What the fuck is up with you, dude?" Dean snapped, not being able to take it any longer. "What the hell did I do?"

He saw Cas tense. "Nothing," the angel answered shortly.

"Yeah, spare me the crap. You're acting freakin' weird, man."

The hunter walked towards Cas, putting a hand on his shoulder. The angel tensed even more.

"Look at me, Cas," Dean urged.

After a while, Cas turned around slowly. His face was unreadable.

"What did I do, huh? Cut me some slack, dude. I'm not even awake for ten minutes and I've got a pissed angel in my motel room. Not to mention what happened yesterday, which I still don't fucking understand -"

Cas hissed slightly and suddenly he was standing a few feet away, glaring at the hunter. Dean froze in surprise, just staring.

"Cas, what the hell! You'd better start fuckin' explaining to me what your problem is!" Dean exclaimed, staring at the furious – and red? - angel in disbelief.

"Sometimes, Dean," Castiel growled, "you are so incredibly dense."

And with those last words, he was gone. _Fucker's been spending way too much time with Sammy._

Really though, what the fuck? Something at the back of his mind told him that it probably had something to do with last night. Was it because Dean had seen Cas weak and hurt? He really had no clue.

"Hey, where's Cas?" asked Sam, fresh out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Well, apparently he still has enough mojo left to zap himself around," Dean answered vaguely.

Sam narrowed his eyes at him for a moment, then shrugged.

A few hours later, they were sitting at the local diner, having breakfast as Sam was typing away on his laptop.

"Dude, I think I've got a case," he said after Dean was done chatting up the waitress.

"Huh?" Dean said absent-mindedly, staring not-so-subtly at the waitress' behind.

"Dean!" Sam said, annoyed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. What is it?" Dean asked in defeat.

"So get this. Two weeks ago, this kid Chris Miller, five years old, went missing -"

"So?" Dean interrupted, already wanting to focus on the hot waitress again.

"_So_," Sam continued, annoyed. "He disappeared completely. No trace of him. While holding his mother's hand."

Dean finally glanced back up at Sam, who raised an eyebrow triumphantly.

"Shut up," the eldest Winchester muttered, grabbing the laptop and pulling it towards him.

"Five years ago, on exactly the same date, Emma James, four years old, went missing as well. She just vanished while sitting on her dad's lap. Five years before that, Lily Tyson. Six years old, disappeared while kissing her mother good night. You sensing a pattern here?" Sam said, taking a gulp of his coffee.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, sounds weird. We should check it out."

"Uh.." Sam hesitated, taking another gulp of coffee. "Is Cas coming?"

Dean's jaw tensed. "How the hell should I know, the bastard flew off himself -"

"I'm right here."

The brothers jumped as the angel suddenly appeared next to Sam.

"Damn it, Cas!" Dean hissed, ignoring the stares of the people around them.

"We've got a case. You coming?" Sam asked, getting right to the point.

Cas nodded.

"All right, good. We can leave as soon as we're done here," Sam said uncomfortably, sensing the extreme coolness between the two others.

"Where did you go, anyway?" Dean asked gruffly.

"That's none of your concern," Cas replied, still not looking at him.

"Guys.." Sam groaned. "What the hell is going on now-"

"That's it, I am sick of your attitude. You can just stay away until you start acting normal again, because right now, I don't fucking want you near me," Dean snapped then, standing up and leaving the diner.

Cas stared at the direction the hunter had walked off in for a long time.

"Awkward.." Sam muttered. "Uh.. you okay?"

Castiel nodded.

"Mind telling me what that was all about?" Sam tried.

Cas gave him a look that told him yes, he did mind.

"Right.. hey man, don't take this as a reason to leave. Dean can say whatever, but he wants you around. So do I. So just.. don't worry 'bout it."

Castiel stared at the door Dean had just left through, sighing. "Not worrying is impossible."

"Well, I don't know what happened, but you two need to be grown ups for once, dude. Talk to him," Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I gotta tell you, if you two are going to be fighting like an old married couple the entire time, I'm not sure I want to be there."

Cas didn't reply.

**Thank you for reading, please leave reviews so I can continue!**


	3. Chapter 3

The atmosphere in the car was icy, to say the least. Sam had taken his usual position, riding shotgun, and Cas was sitting in the back. Dean was driving, of course, his jaw set as he for once kept his eyes on the road.

Cas was staring out of the window as if he were in some kind of dramatic scene from a TV show. The whole thing looked kind of comical, really, if it weren't for the fact that Sam was right in the fucking middle of it. He cleared his throat.

"Hey, wanna put some music on?" he suggested to Dean, who shrugged.

Sam chose his next steps carefully. He knew it would be fatal if he put his own music into the machine, so he decided to put on some AC/DC. That could never go wrong with Dean. And sure enough, after a few moments of Back in Black, the eldest Winchester started drumming on the steering wheel, mouthing along the words.

After a few more moments he was 'singing' along loudly.

Sam sighed. He didn't know what was worse, this or the car basically freezing over.

"I don't understand why I need to be here. I could just fly-"

"Cas, we've already talked about this," Sam groaned. "For one, we don't know how damaged your mojo is. And secondly, if you're hunting with us, we should stick together."

"But I'd really rather not stay in the car with those sounds coming from it."

Dean abruptly stopped singing. "Then leave."

"All right, that's it. Dean, pull over at that tank station," Sam ordered.

Dean just frowned, not obliging.

"Dean, pull the fuck over!"

He jumped, quickly driving to the petrol station and parking the car. Sam leaned sideways so that he could look at both Dean and Cas.

"I am going for a walk. When I get back you two'd better be behaving normally towards each other, or there'll be Hell to pay," the youngest Winchester snapped.

Dean bit his tongue to keep from pointing out the irony in that sentence. Sam glared at them both one last time before throwing the door open and getting out of the car. An awkward silence followed. Dean cleared his throat.

"What does Sam want us to do?" Cas asked then.

Dean looked at him through the mirror. The angel was staring at the hands on his lap. He looked so dejected that the hunter felt his anger melting. Sighing, he turned around.

"Cas, what's going on, man?" he asked gently. "You seem real freakin' upset about something."

Cas didn't look up, though his face actually seemed to redden slightly.

"Cas?" Dean tried again.

Still, no answer. Sighing, he opened the car door. Castiel looked up, startled. Slight hurt covered his expression which quickly melted into nervousness as Dean opened the door to the seat next to him.

"Castiel."

The angel glanced up from hearing his real name coming from Dean's lips. The latter put his hand on Cas' shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

Cas finally opened his mouth, blushing furiously for some reason. "Dean, I.. I can't tell you.."

"Why not, huh? C'mon dude, you know you can trust me," Dean urged.

Cas' blue eyes met Dean's green ones, and he took a deep breath. "I.. I'll tell you when we arrive at the motel. I do not wish to talk about this inside a car."

Dean stared at Cas for a while before nodding. "Fine by me. Hey, and let's do Sam and ourselves a favour and just pretend like nothing's happened, all right? I don't know about you, but I was getting kind of sick of the hostility."

The angel nodded in agreement. "I don't like it when you're so unfriendly towards me," he admitted quietly.

Dean wasn't sure what to say. "Yeah, well uhh.. same here. Let's just.. not be unfriendly towards each other any more, okay?"

"Okay."

The hunter nodded to himself, for a moment not being sure what to do with himself. He cleared his throat, and patted Cas' knee before opening the door again. He sat down in the driver's seat, feeling his face heat up from the awkwardness. Where the fuck was that long-haired moose when you needed him..

A few more minutes of torturing awkward silence before Sam finally threw open the car door, making both Cas and Dean jump.

"You two done with your tantrums?" Sam asked sternly.

Dean glared at his brother. "You just shut up and mind your own business."

"Whatever, man. As long as you keep it between yourselves," Sam said tiredly, running a hand through his hair.

No one replied. After a few seconds they were back on the road. It was quiet again, but it wasn't the same silence as before. Sam could at least relax now. He closed his eyes, feeling himself drift off.

Meanwhile, Dean threw a glance at Cas through the mirror. The angel was staring woefully out of the window again, causing Dean to sigh.

"Want to pick the music, Cas?"

Castiel jumped up, startled at being pulled from his train of thought. "Erm.. no, thank you."

Dean hadn't expected much different. "All right."

He tried a different tactic. "So.. what do you think we're dealing with?"

Cas looked at him questioningly, tilting his head.

"Y'know, the case."

"Oh. I'm not sure."

The eldest Winchester suppressed another sigh, accepting that a conversation was just not happening.

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

"What.. what if my grace isn't fully healed yet when we encounter whatever this creature is?"

"Cas, I'm sure your grace will be fine. And if not, it's not a problem. You've got the best teachers in the world with you." Dean glanced at his sleeping little brother, satisfied to see that he hadn't twitched a muscle during the conversation.

"I just hope that I'll still be able to protect you and Sam," Cas said quietly.

Dean looked back at Cas for a moment. "That's not all you're here for. You're not our bodyguard, Cas."

Cas didn't reply.

"Anyway, whatever the hell that thing is, it better not give us a hard time. That's the last thing I fucking need," the hunter muttered, more to himself than to anyone else.

He started when Sam shifted next to him, stretching loudly before asking, "Anyone hungry?"

**Thank you for reading, please leave reviews and tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

"A freakin' goddess. Are you kidding me?!" Dean snarled, throwing his blood-stained coat over the back of a chair in their motel room.

"I highly doubt that was a joke, Dean," Cas said, panting slightly as he sat down on the edge of one of the beds.

Almost as soon as they'd arrived at the small town, they'd almost been killed. They had visited the cops in their usual FBI outfits.

Eventually, after what had sounded like an extremely easy case to solve, they'd ended up in an old, abandoned factory, where all the children seemed to have gone to before disappearing. Apparently, they were dealing with something way more powerful than a witch or a demon. It had been a goddess. She'd been eating the children, and quite frankly, the Winchesters had no idea how to deal with this one. Luckily, Castiel did. He disappeared, leaving Dean and Sam to deal with the evil bitch on their own. Soon after, he'd returned with a silver stake, and after a lot of fighting, he finally managed to stick it through her chest.

Dean and Cas hadn't even been able to talk, yet.

"Jesus Christ," Sam panted, letting himself fall on the bed.

"You okay, Sammy?"

"I've been better. What about you?"

Dean just grunted, rubbing a hand across his face. "Cas, your healing mojo would really help right about now."

Cas jolted. "Of course."

He leaned over Dean, touching him briefly on the forehead, before doing the same to Sam. They brothers sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Cas," Sam said. "Dean, I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Pizza," Dean barked, not letting Sam finish.

The younger brother rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Cas, you want anything?" he asked, out of politeness.

"No, thank you," the angel muttered.

He seemed to be growing increasingly tense.

"Um.. all right. I'll see you guys later," Sam shrugged, catching the car keys Dean threw at him.

It was silent for a few minutes after Sam had left. Dean left to the bathroom, cleaning up the remaining blood-stains on his face and hands. He frowned at his clothes, shrugging them off and walking back into the room in only his boxers. Castiel was standing with his back to him. He didn't say a word, just pulled on a pair of jeans.

"You should get some rest," Cas suddenly said quietly, still not turning around to face him.

"Not tired." Which was a complete lie, Dean was absolutely exhausted. But that didn't matter. He walked nonchalantly to a chair, pulling it out and sitting down on it.

"So.." he began. "Now that we don't have a case, or anything else to do at the moment, and Sam's gone, we need to have a chat. Talk to me, Cas."

Castiel took a deep breath, and turned around slowly. He walked up to Dean, sitting in the chair opposite him. The eldest Winchester looked at him expectantly.

"Dean, you've seen my wings," Castiel then murmured, not meeting Dean's eye.

Dean blinked at him, memories of the gorgeous wings filling his mind again. "Yeah?"

"You.. you can't," Cas then said helpfully.

"What?"

The angel made a frustrated sound, standing up and walking away. "No one sees an angel's wings, Dean. Not even other angels. No one, except.." he trailed off.

"Except..?" Dean asked, standing up.

"Except their.. except the angels they are bonded with," Cas finished with a sigh.

"What does that mean?" the hunter asked, frowning.

"It means that now we have to bond," the angel said, sounding tired.

"Wha.. bond like, how?" Dean stuttered, not sure he was liking this.

Cas turned to him, glaring a little. "A proper bond. To be linked together forever."

Dean swallowed at Cas' sudden powerful voice. "Yeah, that's not happening."

"I wish it were that easy," Cas muttered, frowning slightly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we don't really have a choice. I've been trying to ignore it, but.. it's too strong." He stepped closer to Dean, causing the latter to step back automatically. "The pull. It's almost unbearable. I thought that maybe, if I acted cold towards you, it would lessen but.. it's only getting stronger."

"Pull? What the fuck are you talking about, Cas?" Dean barked, not liking the way this was heading.

"You're not feeling it yet. Interesting," Cas murmured. "We can't ignore the pull. You've seen.. part of my soul by seeing my wings, and I have left my mark on yours. We are already somewhat bonded. But now, we will have to bond properly. We've got no choice."

"Hell, we've got a fucking choice. It's not my fucking fault I saw your stupid wings, Cas! You should learn to keep your private parts hidden!" Dean snapped. "I haven't felt any kind of.. pull, or whatever, so screw that shit! I'm not bonding with any freakin' angel of the lord any time soon, so you can stick that idea up your ass."

Cas looked at him, his expression a mixture of exasperation and something Dean couldn't identify. "Dean.."

"Fuck off, Cas."

"Believe me, I don't want this to happen either. We can ignore it for now, but sooner or later, it will become unbearable. I'm sorry, Dean."

"This bond.. it's like.. love? Or what?" the hunter asked tensely.

"I believe so. You could perhaps compare it to marriage for humans, except a whole lot more powerful and impossible to take back. It is the most powerful, strong bond that can be made between angels.. or in this case.."

"Is there no way out of this?" Dean then tried, desperate.

"Not that I know of," Cas said quietly.

"Forever," the hunter mused, running a hand through his hair. Suddenly, he seemed to get an idea. "Hey, we can just ignore the pull or whatever, can't we? I mean, I'm not feeling shit right now and apparently it's not too bad for you. We can just pretend like there's nothing going on and move on with our lives?"

The angel looked pained. "As much as I would like that to work, it won't. I'm.. in a lot of pain right now. It's only worse because my grace is damaged. But you.. once you start feeling it, it will become excruciating for you. I'm afraid you'll come running to me," he said softly. He didn't sound happy with it, more regretful.

"Yeah, fuck that. Cas, I don't know if you know me, but I'm the master in repressing shit. This will just be one more thing," Dean growled.

"Dean, it won't work.."

"Fucking watch me. I'm _not_ gonna bond with freakin' anything, god damn it."

"Listen to me -"

"Bite me, Cas."

With that, he walked out of the motel room, slamming the door shut behind him

**Thank you for reading, please leave reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5

"Uhh.. Cas?" a confused Sam uttered when he walked into the motel room.

"Hello, Sam."

Sam put the boxes of pizza down on the table, and looked around the room before raising his eyebrows. "Where's Dean?"

"He.. he left."

"Yeah, I noticed. Could you maybe elaborate, Cas?" Sam said, irritated.

Cas looked up at him. "I don't know where he went. If I were you, I would call him. I doubt he wants to see me."

Sam frowned. "Why? What did you-" He broke off, annoyed as the sound of wings flapping interrupted him, and the angel disappeared.

Sighing, he grabbed his mobile, dialling Dean's number. After about three rings, Dean finally picked up the phone.

"Sammy?"

"Dean! Where the hell are you? Cas said you took off."

"Yeah. I'm at a bar, Sam. At least.. I think it's a bar. It might also be Heaven."

Sam paused. "Dean, are you drunk?"

"No, no, no. No. No.."

"Dean."

"..Yes. But so what? We just finished a case, we deserve some fun, Sammy!" Dean yelled into the phone.

"Um, all right. I'll pass," Sam said with a small chuckle. "The bar's just across the road from the motel, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. At least I'll know where to find you if you're not home tomorrow. Bye, Dean."

"Bye Sammy."

With that, Dean put his phone back into his pocket. "Sorry 'bout that, honey," he winked at the girl sitting across from him.

"No problem, sugar," she replied with a smile.

"So, you were saying?"

"I said.. maybe we could head over to my place, for a little privacy?" she repeated, smirking.

He grinned back at her. "Sure. Let's go."

A weird, nagging feeling was settling in his stomach, but he ignored it. At least, he managed to ignore it right up until they were actually in the girl's – Lola's – house, when he began to be afraid it might be a little issue with his bowels. Now _that_ would just be fucking embarrassing.

He pulled away from kissing her.

"Hey, sweetheart, where's your bathroom?" he asked rather abruptly. She didn't seem to notice, though.

"Down the hall, second door to the right," Lola replied breathlessly.

"I'll be right back," Dean promised, giving her another kiss before leaving the room.

He locked the bathroom door behind him, leaning onto the sink and staring into the mirror. What the hell was wrong with him? Dean took a deep breath, willing the weird pain in his stomach to subside. It felt like a tugging in his gut – and his heart sunk as he realised exactly what it was.

"God damn it, Cas," he hissed.

Why the fuck did the dick have to go and show his wings? Now Dean couldn't even enjoy nice, drunk sex with a nice, drunk girl because he was too busy thinking of how much he wanted to be with a certain angel – a male angel, at that.

No. No, fuck that. He was going in there, and he was going to have him some great sex, and he wasn't going to think of that douchebag.

Dean threw some water into his face before taking another deep breath and leaving the bathroom. He pushed Lola back onto the bed fiercely, kissing her harshly. He'd be damned if he was letting a stupid angel ruin his life.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ 

Dean awoke with a mouthful of soft, dark hair. He groaned a little, before gently pulling himself away and rubbing his eyes. He nearly yelled when he opened them. Standing at the foot of the bed was a certain angel, looking puzzled. He clamped a hand over his mouth, willing his heartbeat and breathing to slow down.

"Cas," he finally hissed. "What the _fuck_ are you doing here?! Fuck off!"

Cas just tilted his head and blinked, and Dean felt that awful twinge in his gut.

"Get _out_!" he snapped, a bit more loudly, and Lola twitched next to him.

That seemed to shake Cas, and Dean blinked, and he was gone. The hunter glanced down at the sleeping girl. Time for him to do the same.

Half an hour later he was knocking on their motel room door. A tired looking Sam opened it after a while, blinking at him.

"Dude, it's eight thirty. Why the hell did you forget the key?" he muttered, letting Dean step inside.

The latter shrugged. "Forgot. Nice hair."

Sam frowned, and a hand went up to his awfully messed up hair. "Shut up. What're you doing home so early, anyway?"

"I'm gonna go get some breakfast. You want anything?" Dean said, sticking the motel key into his pocket and avoiding his brother's eyes.

"Just a coffee," Sam said warily after a pause, being too tired to even ask.

Dean nodded vaguely, and took a step towards the door before jumping back. Castiel appeared in front of the doorway, startling both of the brothers.

"Cas, you really need to stop doing that!" Sam exclaimed.

"I'm.. sorry," the angel said, not taking his eyes off Dean.

The latter glared at him. "What the hell was that all about, Cas? Huh?"

"I.. don't know."

"You don't fucking know? How can you not know?!" Dean snarled.

Cas bristled, and suddenly he was mere inches away from the hunter, narrowing his eyes at him. "I don't know, Dean! I felt like I was being pulled towards you – I thought you were in danger so I responded. I don't know why it led me to that!" he hissed, backing Dean up against the wall.

The two glared at each other for a while, breathing heavily. He suddenly noticed that Cas' hands were gripping his arms, and he could feel the heat coming from them. Their grip loosened, but Cas didn't let go. He could feel the scar on his arm tingle, and it sent shivers down his spine. Dean's heart was pumping wildly, and he realised with vague shock that it wasn't caused by fear. He swallowed, and licked his lips nervously. Cas' eyes followed every movement his tongue made.

"Uh.. guys? I'm still here," Sam offered hesitantly.

Dean jumped. "So? We weren't-"

"Whatever. I'm going to the bathroom," Sam said, shaking his head as Dean moved away from Cas.

As soon as Sam was inside the bathroom, Cas neared Dean again. "You're feeling it," he said with a low voice.

"Feeling what?" Dean asked stubbornly.

The angel glared at him. "The bond. You're feeling it, Dean. I know you are."

"Can we not have this conversation here?" Dean snapped.

"Fine."

Before the hunter could object, Cas touched his forehead with his fingers. The next moment, they were in a forest, completely alone.

"Wha.. where are we?" Dean asked, startled.

"We are alone. Now, you were saying?"

Dean narrowed his eyes. "You being smart, you son of a bitch?"

Cas didn't reply. To his surprise, Dean cracked a smile.

"You've been walking around with us mud monkeys for too long, Cas."

Cas smiled back. "So I've been told."

They stood in silence for a while, looking at each other. "Dean.."

"Cas, don't say it."

"I know you're feeling it. You're feeling it right now. You can't lie to me, Dean," Castiel said, his voice twinged with sorrow.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I ain't feeling shit. And even if I was, it would be no big deal. Because I'd ignore it, get that? I'd never acknowledge these feelings. And neither should you," the hunter said shortly.

Cas just looked at him sadly. "You can't keep this up. I'm sorry."

"Screw you. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me," Dean hissed. As soon as the words had left his lips, he realised how desperate they sounded, and he immediately regretted saying them. But it was too late.

Castiel's gaze turned from sadness to anger, and a quick flash of hurt that Dean had managed to see before the angel skilfully hid it. He neared him slowly, and Dean felt like he would melt under his glare.

"I rebuilt you. I rebuilt every single cell in that body, every atom, every nerve, vein, muscle, bone, every single hair – need I go on? Do _not_ tell me that I don't know you, Dean Winchester. I know you better than you know yourself. You can not lie to me," he growled, grabbing the lapels of Dean's jacket and shoving him against a nearby tree.

Dean waited for his own heart and Cas to calm down slightly, before saying, "Right. Zap me back."

A muscle in Cas' jaw clenched, but he didn't say a word as he touched Dean's forehead, bringing him back to the motel room. He was alone.

He sat down on the bed with his head in his hands. The scar on his arm was throbbing, his body felt like it was twitching internally. It was fine. This was fine. It wasn't too bad. Nothing he couldn't live with.. endlessly.. for the rest of his life..

"Dean? You all right?" Sam's worried voice pierced through his thoughts, and he jerked up.

"Yeah.. I'm fine," he muttered.

"What the hell's going on between you two? You're being even weirder than before," Sam said with a frown.

"It's nothing, Sam. Drop it," Dean snapped.

His younger brother glared at him. "If you don't tell me, I'll just ask Cas."

"He won't tell you."

"Really? All right, if you're so sure about it, fine. I'll just pray for him now."

"No!" Dean exclaimed.

Sam raised his eyebrows triumphantly. "So?"

The eldest Winchester sighed heavily. "Damn it, Sam."

"What's wrong?" Sam then asked quietly.

Dean took a long time before replying. "You remember that night when Cas was all beat up and shit? And then all the lights went out?"

Sam nodded curiously.

"I saw.. I saw his wings. And I wasn't supposed to. Apparently, no one's allowed to see an angel's wings except.."

"Except what?"

"Except.. the angel's they're bonded with," Dean mumbled.

Sam was silent for a moment. "So you mean like their mates?" he then sniggered.

"Shut the fuck up, Sam! And I wasn't fucking done. He said it was something like.. I've seen some of his soul by seeing his wings, and he left a mark on mine. We.. I have to.. we're.." Dean couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"You have to bond," Sam finished for him.

The hunter bowed his head, sighing in defeat.

"Aw, you're blushing," the youngest Winchester smirked.

Dean jumped up and Sam dodged the punch coming towards his eye. "You son of a bitch!"

"Whoa, calm down! I was just kidding!" Sam yelled, trying to keep his laughter under control.

"I'll kill you!" Dean snarled, lunging for his brother.

"Okay, okay! Jesus Christ, Dean. You're obviously sensitive about this shit. I'm sorry," Sam offered, raising his hands.

Dean glared at him, and Sam decided it was safer to keep some distance between them for the moment.

"There's no way to undo this?" he asked.

Dean sighed again, the anger seeming to drain out of him. "Cas doesn't think so. There's this.. feeling in the pit of my stomach, like.. all twitchy. I.. I think that's gonna transform into pain soon, Sammy. Being away from that son of a bitch is actually going to put me in pain. And my fucking scar keeps throbbing. I hate that dick."

Now that it was all out, he realised how good it felt to finally vent. Sam looked at him, now in pity.

"Well, it explains a lot. But hey, you said Cas didn't know for sure there wasn't a cure, right?"

Dean nodded.

"That doesn't mean there isn't one. We'll find it, don't worry. I'll call Bobby to help us-"

"You are _not_ telling Bobby shit!" Dean yelled, panicking.

"All right, so we'll do it," Sam replied calmly. "There's gotta be some kind of cure. We'll fix this, Dean."

"Thanks, Sammy."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Castiel listened to the brothers' conversation, hidden from their sight. He was furious with Dean, and the things he was saying were only making that worse. He was.. _hurt_. Dean saying he hated him was what struck him the most. He didn't intentionally cause Dean – or himself – this suffering, so why should he be the one to blame? If anything, Dean should have closed his eyes. Castiel always warns him to close his eyes. It wasn't fair.

Another thing that had hurt Cas was the fact that Dean seemed so incredibly unwilling to even think about bonding with him. It was rather insulting. Castiel understood that the hunter wasn't happy, of course – but there was no need to be so hurtful about it towards the angel. Especially since he was suffering so.. so much.

He grit his teeth as he felt the pain inside his chest intensify briefly. His eyes followed Dean, and he strongly resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. Especially that one spot.. No. He would go nowhere near the hand print. He would forbid himself from even thinking it. He let out a short gasp as Dean passed right in front of him, his scent intoxicating.

The hunter turned sharply, staring directly at him. He froze. He was still invisible, wasn't he? He didn't know anything about bonds doing this.

"Dean?" Sam said curiously.

"I.. I thought I heard.." Dean shook his head. "Never mind."

His eyes kept straying towards the angel, though, and he decided to take his leave. He was sick of all this, and he'd had enough for one day. He would take a nice break in one of the tropical rainforests in India. Right now, he needed to be as far away from Dean as possible.

**Thank you for reading, please leave reviews and let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

They didn't see Castiel for another three weeks. They passed their time hunting demons and a couple of vampires, and researching every possible piece of information about angel-bonding. Dean had forced himself not to pray to the angel – which wasn't working out very well. He'd given in after about a week.

_Cas, I don't know where you are, but if you could just get your feathery ass down here.. Whatever. I don't care._

_Okay, uh, Cas? If you're listening, we could really use some help. Now. _

_Stop being a fucking dick, and come down to see me! I mean, us. Come on man. _

_Castiel, Angel of the freakin' Lord, get the fuck down here right now or I swear to God I'll kill you. What, are you deaf? I've been praying to you for days, dude! Where the hell are you?_

None of that really worked out the way he'd planned. Cas remained silent, and he only became more desperate. The weird feeling in his gut had now also moved to his chest, and as predicted, it had turned into physical pain. Not so much an ache, but more a throbbing, which would sometimes become worse and sometimes fade into a dull pain. It was severely uncomfortable and he had no idea how to relieve it other than.. well, the impossible.

It was also getting on Sam's nerves. Dean was twitchy and irritable and sometimes just downright miserable, which he would of course take out on Sam, and the younger brother felt that if Dean didn't see Cas soon, he would end up killing them both. And to make matters worse, the research was going awful. They found enough things about angel-bonding, sure, but absolutely nothing about angel-and-human-bonding.

Anyway, they weren't thinking about that right now. Not specifically. It all seemed rather unimportant as Sam was lying face-down on the ground, groaning as he tried to get up, and Dean standing in front of him, quickly being neared by three hungry, angry vampires. As one lunged at him, a pretty female one, he quickly sunk the syringe of dead man's blood into her neck, and she gave a choked gasp before stumbling onto the ground, momentarily weakened.

The other two growled at Dean, and he winked at them.

"Come and get it, ladies," he grinned at the (male) vampires. He glanced back at Sam.

"Sammy, you okay?" he muttered from the corner of his mouth. To be honest, he wasn't sure he was up to this.

"Yeah," he groaned, kicking the other dead vampire off him. "I didn't touch his blood," he added, instantly earning a relieved sigh from his brother.

Sam stood up, his head pounding from where it had been smashed against the wall, and stood next to his brother, knife in hand.

The female vampire stood up again, looking shaken but recovered. They exchanged a look, and Dean gave Sam a tiny nod.

With that, they both rushed forward towards the vamps, Dean chucking a syringe to Sam who immediately sunk it into one of the vampire's necks. Dean tried to decapitate the biggest male, but he gave him a blow to the jaw which sent him reeling. As Sam was fighting the other two, the biggest was nearing the still dazed Dean. He shook himself, ignoring the pounding in his body, and faced the vampire.

The latter lunged towards him, smashing his hand against the wall. Dean gave a gasp as his hand cracked, crumpling up and dropping the knife on the ground.

Now that was just low. Even for a vampire.

The monster smirked at him as the Winchester tried to punch him with the other hand, simply grabbing the fist and squeezing – hard. He gave a cry as the other hand's bones snapped as well.

"Did – didn't your mother ever tell y-you it's rude to play with your food?" he said through gritted teeth.

"I'm going to have some fun with you Winchesters. Vermin, the pair of you. I'll make you suffer before I feast," the vampire growled.

Dean opened his mouth to reply, but he was interrupted by the vampire punching him in the ribs. He heard a faint "Dean!" as he sunk to the ground, pain taking over.

"Hmm, I expected better from a Winchester. From all the things I've heard, you two are impossible to kill. I must say, I'm rather.. disappointed."

Dean was shaking, trying desperately not to make any more sounds of pain. The vampire smirked down at him, before bashing his face against the wall. And again. And again. He faintly registered his brother running towards him but being stabbed in the leg by the female vampire.

"Sammy," he mumbled, his mouth full of blood, dazed worry flooding his mind for a moment before he was picked up – by his neck.

Dean strained to see with all the blood streaming down his forehead into his eyes, and he felt the hard, cold fingers bruise his neck as he tried to breathe. The vampire looked at the blood hungrily, licking his lips.

"Look at you. You're an absolute mess. I don't -" The vampire never got to finish his sentence.

A very, _very _angry angel appeared behind him, putting his hand on the monster's head and burning him with his powers. He grit his teeth as he watched the vampire sink to the ground – a twisted sort of glee in his eyes. He caught Dean in his arms as the vampire went limp, laying him gently, tenderly, on the ground. Castiel then appeared beside Sam, killing the other two vampires quickly before rushing back to Dean.

He carefully cupped his face with one of his hands, instantly healing the hunter. Dean groaned softly, his eyes still closed as he leaned into Cas' hand, pressing his lips against it and inhaling deeply. Castiel knew what he was going through – he was experiencing the same. The incredible relief and pleasure and delight and pure _joy_ of being near the hunter again.. it was intoxicating. He forced himself to pull away though, ignoring the utter pain of tearing away. He also ignored Dean's horribly, desperately disappointed look as he opened his eyes and stared right at him.

Cas stood, tearing his eyes away from Dean's as he walked over to the other Winchester. Sam was nowhere near as hurt, thankfully, but his leg had a nasty stab wound, making it near impossible to walk, and he had a gash in his face. Cas pressed two fingers against his forehead, healing him.

"Thanks, Cas," Sam breathed, getting up. "Dean, you okay?"

"I'm fine," Dean replied, his tone not revealing anything as he stood up as well.

Sam saw with one glance what was wrong though. His brother's hands were trembling awfully, and his jaw was set, to say the least. Sam felt a pang of pity.

"Dean."

Both the Winchesters looked up, to see a still very angry Cas glaring at Dean.

"How on _earth_.." He neared the hunter slowly, and Dean hated to admit it but he was feeling the tiniest bit intimidated by the billowing coat and the deep voice and the cold, piercing blue eyes.

"Could you be.." he growled, gripping Dean's shoulders tightly, making him wince with both pain and pleasure.

"So incredibly _stupid_?!" The angel shoved the hunter against the wall, earning a yell from Sam.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean spluttered.

"This, Dean! You almost got killed!" Cas snarled.

"Dude, we were caught off guard. It's not Dean's fault, they trapped us -"

"Yes, thank you, Sam," Cas said through gritted teeth, his eyes never leaving Dean as he snapped his fingers. Sam disappeared on the spot.

"What the – where the fuck did you zap him to?" Dean asked angrily.

"Back to your hotel room. Listen to me, Dean." He grasped the lapels of Dean's jacket tightly. "You need to be more careful."

Dean took a deep breath. "I was handling it."

"Don't make me punch you," Cas hissed. "He was killing you and you know it."

"Yeah, you know why I'm so fucking weak these days? Why I'm trembling all the fucking time, why I keep becoming so dizzy I can hardly stand, and why I'm in constant freakin' _pain_? Huh, Cas?"

The angel bowed his head.

"Yeah, you already know. So excuse me if I'm not at my absolute best at the moment," Dean snapped.

Cas swallowed, moving his hands away from Dean before the latter grabbed them and pulled them back.

"Where've you been the last few weeks, huh?" he then asked, his voice shaking a little. "I've been praying to you, Cas."

"I heard," Cas said quietly.

The hunter stared at him in astonishment. "Then.. why the fuck didn't you say anything?! Or show yourself, or whatever?"

"I came when you needed me to, Dean. Don't ask for more than that."

Dean stared into Cas' cold, blue eyes. "You're a fucking dick, Cas, you know that?"

"Yes, so I've heard."

"I needed you before this, you douchebag! I needed you there with me! And you fucking_ know_ how I felt, because, according to you, you're feeling the same! How.. how can you.." He shook his head, words failing him.

He still hadn't let go of Cas' hands, something neither of them had noticed. Cas hadn't noticed his fingers threading through Dean's, either.

"When are you going to realise that this isn't what I want? I'm suffering as much as you are."

"Well, it doesn't seem like it."

They stared at each other, and Dean's heart was pounding wildly from finally being near the angel. He leaned forward, pulling Cas towards him by his hands, and he inhaled his scent deeply. He buried his nose into Cas' hair, closing his eyes as pleasure and need rippled through him. Cas was tense, but he didn't try to move away.

"You don't want this, Dean," Cas murmured, hands clenching into fists as Dean's lips brushed the shell of his ear.

"Yeah, I do.. I need it, Cas. I need you," he whispered, pulling the angel as close to him as possible.

"Dean, stop.. it's the bond talking," Cas panted. He bit his lip to stop a moan from escaping when Dean's tongue ran along his jaw.

"God.. God damn it, Cas," the hunter groaned. He stopped, his lips lingering on Cas' neck for a moment before he managed to tear himself away. They both winced at the lack of touch as soon as it happened.

"You're right. It's the bond. I don't want this," Dean breathed, running a hand along his jaw. "Take me to Sam."

Cas gave him a brief nod, touching his forehead. The next moment he was standing next to a very pissed-looking younger Winchester.

"Hey, Cas, what the fuck was that all about-" he began angrily, before being interrupted by Dean.

"Later," he muttered, and Sam glanced at them before nodding.

"So. You never answered my question," Dean then said, his voice cold as he turned away from Cas.

"Which one?" the angel asked, equally cold.

Sam didn't know what to think.

"Where the fuck were you? We could have used some help during a couple of hunts." Dean was standing with his back to Cas, his head bowed as he pretended to look busy and nonchalant. He reached into his pocket, pulling out some coins and decided to play around with these.

"I've been looking for.. help. For ways to end this," Cas answered, his voice emotionless.

That made Dean turn around. "And?"

Castiel looked at him, shaking his head. "Not yet," he said softly.

They looked at each other for a while before Sam cleared his throat. "In the meantime, we'll keep looking here. You'll let us know whenever you find anything, right Cas?"

"Of course. I'll.. I'll be back." With that, Castiel took his leave.

Dean's heart clenched as soon as the angel was gone, and he grit his teeth, preparing himself for another God knew how many weeks of torture. Sam sat next to him, sighing and doing the same.

"Take a shower, Dean. I'll do some more research," Sam said quietly.

The only reason he wanted his older brother to take a shower was because he knew it helped him relax, if only slightly. It was better than nothing. Dean looked at him, giving him a nod before getting up.

Sam hoped the next time they'd see the angel, it would be with information about how to end this bond.

**Thank you for reading, please leave reviews! They're much appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for the reviews, you all make my day! And sorry about this one taking so long, I've been quite busy and I've had a bit of a block. Anyway, here it is, after being re-written 500 times. Enjoy. **

It was a couple of days later when the nightmares started.

They made Dean's blood run cold. They weren't even real dreams, they were weird, disturbing flashes of images and sounds, screaming and blood and torture and _pain_, and they reminded Dean too much of the nightmares he had about Hell. And when he woke up, sweaty and panting, he'd just be filled with an incredible emptiness, like he was missing a huge part in his life. He couldn't get back to sleep after that.

He'd pretended like nothing was wrong the first few times, trying to hide his exhaustion from Sam. He'd wake up, spend half an hour calming himself down, and then lie awake for the rest of the night, while cursing Cas shakily under his breath.

After about a week though, it became too much. He woke up, sitting up immediately. His breath came in gasping pants, and he felt tears and sweat on his face.

"Cas," he whispered pleadingly, trembling all over and frightened of waking Sam. "Please.."

In a heartbeat, the angel was at his bed, looking at him sadly. Their eyes locked and they were silent for a few moments.

"Cas," came Dean's broken whisper, and then Cas was leaning his forehead against Dean's, closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

Dean took a deep breath, the warmth from Cas' touch spreading through his body, soothing him. He started calming down, and he shuddered, both from shock and pleasure of finally touching the angel again.

The nice warmth that had been seeping through his body the minute Cas touched him, was starting to make him drowsy. Dean's eyes fluttered closed against his will and he sagged forward slightly. He realised dully that Cas was using his mojo on him – but he really couldn't give a shit.

"Be here in the morning," he mumbled as he felt himself being laid back down on the bed.

He got no reply.

The next morning, Dean woke up feeling better than he had in days. He kept his eyes closed for a while longer, pulling the blankets tighter around him. There was no way he was leaving this fucking bed.

He spent a while in a pleasant, half awake state. Eventually, Dean groaned, rolling over. His heart thumped as soon as he felt a certain presence in the room. His eyes flew open, and sure enough, Cas was standing by the window with his back to him.

"What, now I've got angel radar?" Dean muttered, his voice rough from sleep.

Cas turned, his face earnest. "How do you feel?"

Dean blinked at him a couple of times, his jaw clenching as he remembered the night's events. "Fine. Great, actually."

Castiel nodded, relieved. "Good."

The hunter looked around. "Where's Sam?"

"He'll be back any minute, he's gone to get you some breakfast."

Dean nodded, and they were silent for a few moments. "Cas.. what the hell is happening?" he then asked quietly.

Cas sighed, coming closer to Dean as the latter sat up properly.

"I'm afraid.. it's having a severe effect on your subconscious," he answered simply and quietly.

Dean swallowed. "The bond."

Cas tore his eyes away from Dean's Adam's apple and nodded. Dean shook his head, rubbing his jaw for a moment.

"I can't go on like this, man."

The angel looked up.

"All the other crap was bad enough, and now I'm having nightmares? This shit is gonna kill me, Cas."

"What do you want me to do about it, Dean? I've been doing my best searching for answers, searching for people who can give me answers, and you know what I've found? Nothing! Nothing at all. I.. I'm losing hope, Dean."

Dean looked at him sharply after the last sentence, and got out of bed. He walked over to Cas, standing right in front of him as he debated whether or not to touch him. Eventually, he couldn't help himself and he brushed Cas' cheek. They both shuddered.

"Dean.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I never meant for this to happen, I didn't -"

"Hey, hey," Dean said softly, still stroking the angel's cheek. "It's all right, Cas. We'll get through this together. We're a team, right? We'll make it through. Don't worry."

"I think the smartest thing for you two to do is to stay together as much as possible," came a quiet voice from across the room.

Dean and Cas jumped away from each other like they'd been burned.

"Holy fuck, Sam! Don't fucking do that!" Dean snarled at his brother who was currently lying on top of his bed, sipping his coffee.

"How can I help it that you two were so wrapped up in each other you didn't hear me come in?" Sam shrugged.

"Sam, I think you're severely underestimating this fucking situation-"

"What did you mean before?" Cas interrupted curiously.

Sam stood up from the bed, tossing Dean his muffin. "Well, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? You two being apart hurts you both. It even hurts Dean when he's unconscious – I'm not stupid, Dean. I know you've been having nightmares. The only times you two seem more.. at ease, is when you're together. I think you should just stick together until we can find a solution. Don't you think?"

Cas and Dean looked at Sam, then at each other. Cas then hesitantly reached down and took the hunter's hand, to everyone's surprise.

Dean froze, before finally giving his hand a squeeze.

"Right, that's settled. Now let's get the fuck out of here and go for a drive or something," Sam muttered, opening the door already.

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"Cas, buddy? I want to speak to you," Dean said quietly so as not to wake Sam.

Cas appeared in front of him.

"Could we do this somewhere more private?"

The angel nodded once, touching his fingers against Dean's forehead. They were back in same forest they were last time.

"What's up with you and this place, huh?" Dean said softly, looking around. It was night here as well, so it couldn't be that far away.

"I like it. It's quiet, it's peaceful. It's beautiful. I come here often to think," Cas answered quietly.

"Right," Dean said, not knowing what else to say.

"You wanted to talk?"

The hunter blinked. "Um, yeah. Yeah. I wanted to ask you something."

Cas raised his eyebrows slightly as Dean tried to formulate the question. "If.. if you've looked everywhere, asked every single soul out there for help and after everything you've found nothing.. what are our options?"

Castiel sighed, running a hand through his hair. Dean was surprised at the movement, it was an incredibly human thing to do.

"I leave the decision to you. We can either try.. and probably fail.. to ignore this. I don't need to remind you that this will only become worse as time passes. I'm sure you've already noticed."

Dean glanced at his trembling hands, and clenched them into fists.

"That, or we'll have to bond properly."

"You keep saying that. What the hell does that mean, exactly?"

"Our souls.. link together. It's.. incredibly intense. Unforgettable. And after that, we'll never even think of anyone else in that manner.. we'll only crave each other."

"You mean like.. soul sex?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

Cas glared at him.

"What? That's what you're making it sound like, dude!"

"Yes, I suppose you could call it that. Leave it to you to ruin even this."

Dean grinned briefly.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You seem awful.. calm about all of this. I'd expected a more intense reaction than this."

"Yeah, well.. I've been thinking about stuff. And I still am," Dean said quietly.

Cas tilted his head, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Hey, Cas?" Dean leaned forward, coming as close to Cas as humanly possible without actually touching him.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, clenching them into tight fists, nails digging into his palms to keep from reaching out to the angel. He saw Cas' gaze trail down to his lips, and he took a deep breath.

"Cas, focus. I want to say something," he breathed.

Cas shivered, feeling Dean's warm breath practically on his lips. "What?"

"I'm sorry for what I said before. I don't hate you, Cas."

As the angel's eyes widened in surprise, Dean shrugged. "I knew you were there. Don't ask me how. I felt it. Anyway, you weren't supposed to hear that. It was a.. weak moment, I guess. This isn't your fault. You couldn't help it that your wings showed when you were so hurt.. I shouldn't have yelled."

Castiel looked at him, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, and by the way?" Dean leaned closer, now finally giving in and putting his hand on Cas' hip. "I never told you. Your wings. They're beautiful," he breathed in his ear.

Cas hissed. "Dean, if you don't back off now, I won't be responsible for my actions," he said through gritted teeth.

They stared at each other for a long time.

"We really shouldn't," Dean murmured painfully.

"We can't," Cas agreed.

"How.. how 'bout.. a hug?" Dean felt like such a pussy at the moment. Asking a guy for a fucking hug. Jesus Christ.

Luckily though, Cas knew exactly how he felt and nodded, immediately stepping forward and pulling the hunter to him.

Dean swallowed a groan at finally being close to the angel, wrapping his arms around him and surrounding himself with the scent and feel of Cas.

Dean focused on getting Cas as close to him as possible, holding him tight. He jumped like he'd been electrocuted when he felt lips at his neck, pressing softly, staying chaste.

He leaned his head sideways, giving the angel more access. Dean was unable to stop the moan pouring from his throat when he felt the nipping of teeth and the lick of a tongue.

"Cas.." he hissed, closing his eyes.

"Dean," Cas murmured in response, moving to right under his earlobe.

"Wh.. what happened to just a hug, huh?" the hunter chuckled breathlessly.

"You'll be the death of me, Dean Winchester," Cas moaned before pulling away with great difficulty.

They both stared at each other, thinking the same. One of these days, and they both knew it was going to be very soon, one of them was going to let go. They were going to go too far, and not be able to stop it.

"God help us when it happens," Dean whispered, more to himself than to Cas.

"I think if God had anything to do with this, none of it would have happened," Cas answered quietly.

"You think so?"

The angel nodded.

"Well, that's kind of insulting," Dean joked, but Cas tilted his head at him, not understanding.

"Wouldn't you prefer this not happening?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course," Dean said, rubbing a hand along his jaw. To be honest, he was still feeling quite light headed. And they had hardly done shit.

"Come," Cas said, reaching out his hand to Dean's forehead. The next moment, they were back in the motel room.

"You should get some rest, Dean."

Cas turned away. Dean grabbed his wrist. "Stay with me," he whispered, the anxiety clear in his eyes.

Cas felt his guts twist with guilt as he thought of the horrors which were Dean's dreams. He nodded, barely visible.

Dean quickly stripped, leaving himself only in his boxers as he climbed into the bed. Cas climbed in next to him, fully dressed as he wrapped his arms around the hunter, vowing to keep his mind pure and mercifully blank.

**Thank you for reading, please leave reviews and I'll love you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Updates will be less regular since I'm on holiday and I don't have much time for myself, but I'll do my best. Enjoy!**

Dean woke up to an empty bed. He couldn't say he was surprised, but he still had to swallow the huge lump of disappointment.

"Hey," Sam greeted him, sitting on a chair with his laptop in front of him.

"Hey," Dean grunted, stretching.

"No nightmares this time?"

Dean paused. "No. Cas.. helped."

Sam nodded, knowing fine well what that meant. He had woken up briefly in the middle of the night and had seen the pair of them tangled up in each other. If the youngest Winchester hadn't known better, he'd have said Castiel had been asleep, the way he was lying so peacefully and serene, his eyes closed. He decided not to mention it to Dean. He hadn't missed his older brother's eyes flash with hurt when he noticed the empty spot next to him.

Sam was beginning to wonder how much the bond actually had to do with Dean's feelings for the angel.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, letting his gaze slip back to his laptop screen.

Dean shrugged, sitting up. "All right. I'm gonna have a shower, then let's head out."

Sam nodded. "I'll call Bobby, see if he has any kind of case for us."

"Right."

After Dean had locked the door, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. They weren't any closer to finding a solution than they were from the start. There was nothing that could help them. If only this had happened before somewhere, then he could ask that person or angel for help. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Although.. A grin started forming on Sam's face. This may not have happened before, but there was still an angel out there who might be able to help them. An angel they hadn't even considered yet.

An archangel, to be exact.

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"Dean!"

The hunter got pulled roughly out of his thoughts by Sam knocking on the door.

"What?" he snapped.

"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back soon!"

Dean frowned in confusion. Sam sounded awful happy 'bout something. Maybe he'd met a chick.

"All right, whatever. Go wild," he muttered.

He got no reply. He sighed, shaking his head as he pulled off the rest of his clothes. He stepped under the warm stream of water, relishing the feel of it pouring down his back. Dean felt his muscles relax, felt the tension disappear from his neck. He sighed, leaning his head back. His thoughts drifted to his dreams that night.

They had not been nightmares. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Dean bit his lip as he thought back to the feel of Cas' lips on his, his skin warm and smooth against his own. He had been incredibly grateful that Sam hadn't noticed the.. uncomfortable situation he'd been in when he'd woken up. Although, he'd probably known anyway, by the way Dean had rushed to the shower. He couldn't complain though, he'd pick these dreams over the nightmares in a heartbeat.

He closed his eyes, thinking back to the low moans and growls the angel had made in his ear, his fingers trailing down Dean's body.

His own fingers trailed down his body at the moment, taking advantage of the fact that he was now alone. He started rubbing himself, hissing slightly as he imagined Cas stroking him, slowly and filthily.

He imagined Cas licking and biting at his neck while he was rubbing him, quickening the pace as he did so. Cas tugging at his hair.. nibbling his lip, sucking at his throat.

"Oh God, Cas," Dean moaned, knowing he was going to lose it soon.

Cas growling Dean's name in his ear.

That did it. He came with a loud gasp of the angel's name, feeling his knees give and he gripped the bar of the shower curtain to steady himself.

"Fuck," Dean hissed, slowly coming down from his high. "Fuck."

He rinsed himself off, his hands still trembling. He felt the burning need to touch Cas, to be with him, along with the growing despair that this was getting out of hand. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering how the fuck he was going to do this any more.

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Dean's stomach growled as he waited for his breakfast to arrive. He still hadn't heard from Sam, which left him eating breakfast at the local diner by himself with the laptop in front of him. He didn't think he could be more pathetic.

"Here you go, honey," the waitress smiled, putting down his plate of bacon and eggs along with his coffee.

"Thanks sweetheart," he said absent-mindedly, quickly clicking away the page he'd opened.

He didn't even check out her backside as she walked away. Things were really bad. He sighed, digging into his food. He took a long gulp of coffee before pausing, staring at the vacant seat opposite him. Well, it seemed vacant.

"Cas?" Dean muttered.

The angel appeared, blue eyes meeting green. He looked displeased.

"So you can sense my presence, then," Cas muttered, frowning.

"Yeah. Too bad you can't spy on my any more, huh?" Dean grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Cas didn't reply, instead letting his eyes drop to Dean's chest. The latter swallowed, feeling the angel's gaze burn into his skin.

"Where's Sam?" Cas asked suddenly.

"He's.. I don't know. He just took off," Dean said with a shrug, eyes on Cas' lips.

Cas frowned. "Oh. Is he all right?"

"Uh.. I think so. Hang on, let me just call him actually."

Dean swallowed again before tearing his gaze away from Cas' mouth, reaching into his pocket.

"Dean?"

"Hey, Sammy. What are you doing?"

"I'm uh.. I'm busy. It's fine. Look, I'll call you back later, okay?"

Dean frowned. "Uhh.. okay?"

He blinked at the phone as the call ended. "Well, that was.. brief."

"What did he say?" Cas asked curiously.

"He just said he's busy and that he'd call me later. I'm starting to get a bit worried, to be honest," Dean said, running a hand through his hair.

Cas didn't reply, he just tilted his head a little, frowning. Dean sighed, moving back a little so his legs didn't touch the angel's, and looked back at his laptop screen.

"Anyway, in the meantime, there's this abandoned hotel a few miles away from here. People have reported weird noises, sights, the usual. I'm thinkin' poltergeist. Wanna check it out?"

Cas looked troubled. He leaned forward, making Dean automatically lean in as well. "Dean, I seem to have grown weaker since.. well, that's not important. The point is that I won't be able to help you properly. I'm not fully capable of my powers. I'm afraid I'll be of no use to you," he said grimly. "I'm sorry."

"Cas, shut up. Angelic powers or not, you're still one hell of a hunter. And I could use some help, buddy," the Winchester said with a small grin.

"But I -"

"I don't give a shit. You're coming, and that's it."

Cas glared at him for a few moments before sighing and nodding. "Fine, but only because I don't want you to go there by yourself."

"Awesome," Dean smirked, and Cas couldn't help but smile back.

The hunter pushed his plate away, appetite gone. "Let's go."

He put some money on the table, and they left. Cas paused when they were about to get into the Impala. Dean looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Don't you think.. don't you think that being in a confined space together will be a bit difficult?" he asked, worried blue eyes meeting Dean's.

Dean stopped, realising the angel had a point. Then he shook his head. "Look, it's like twenty minutes away. We'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"No. But we're gonna have to deal with this somehow. Come on."

After about three minutes of awkward silence, Dean felt like he was going to explode. His fingers were twitching on the steering wheel, it was too hot and he had trouble breathing. Above that, he was painfully aware of every single fucking move the angel made, and when he didn't move, Dean could see his pulse beating rapidly in his throat.

He didn't even want to consider how the angel was feeling right now.

Dean took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as he tried to focus on the road.

"So, Cas. What've you been up to?" he tried, his voice sounding like a dry croak in his ears.

He could see Cas swallow with difficulty. "I've been looking for someone to release us from this bond, like I've told you."

"No luck, huh?" No shit Sherlock.

"No."

It was silent for a few more painful minutes.

"Look, I can just fly there -"

"We're here," Dean interrupted with a sigh of relief.

Cas unclenched the fists he wasn't aware of clenching in the first place, and zapped out of the car, not having the patience for opening the door. Dean followed quickly after, and they both took a deep breath of the lovely fresh air.

"So let me get this straight – you can still zap around, even with your weakened powers?" Dean asked, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead. He reached into the trunk, pulling out the necessities and handing a gun to Cas.

"Yes. Since I've still got my wings, I can still fly. I think I could also still heal minor injuries, but I can't kill creatures at the moment," Cas sighed, looking at Dean with a frown, taking the gun doubtfully.

"Hey, don't worry. It'll come back to ya. In the meantime, you can help me kill some evil sons of bitches. Let's go."

As Dean looked up at the creepy-as-fuck hotel, Cas looked at Dean, a small smile playing on his lips. He wondered what he'd done to deserve someone like him. He silently thanked his Father with all his heart as he followed Dean inside.

It was dirty and dark inside. It was also eerily quiet, something Dean had learned not to trust a long time ago. The windows were boarded shut, and Dean tossed Cas a torch, clicking on his own. The angel copied him, blinking at the bright light emerging from it.

They walked through the hotel, checking the rooms for any signs of paranormal activity. After about two hours of trudging through the abandoned place, they'd still found nothing.

"Dean, I don't think -"

Cas' sentence was cut off. They both froze as they heard a loud scraping coming from the wall behind Cas' head, as if someone was dragging a hook along it.

"Cas," Dean hissed. "Get away from there right now."

The angel nodded, very slowly stepping away from the wall. Dean grabbed his arm, pulling him in and the scraping noise stopped abruptly. Cas pointed the torch towards the wall, and Dean cursed when he saw a long line of ripped wallpaper, dark red substance oozing from it.

Cas stepped towards it, much to the distress of Dean. He stuck a finger into the substance and brought it to his lips.

"Dude!" Dean yelled.

"It's blood," Cas nodded, stepping back towards Dean.

"We could have figured that out without fucking tasting it! Damn it, Cas!"

Cas tilted his head and frowned, about to reply when Dean was suddenly launched through the air, smack into a wall.

"Dean!"

The angel appeared next to the groaning hunter. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine.. come on, we need to-"

This time, both Cas and Dean were thrown through the air, Cas bashing into a boarded window, Dean crashing through a door.

"Fucking hell!" Dean snarled.

He wiped some blood from his eye and looked around for Cas. He didn't have a chance to yell for him though, because the next moment, he was catapulted again, this time right into a tiny room. Cas followed him soon after, landing on top of him with a gasp. Cas scrabbled up, just in time to see the door being slammed shut.

**Thank you so much for reading, reviews would be very much appreciated! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for the reviews! Sorry this one's so late, but holidays got in the way of everything... here is the next chapter though, after a huge wait. Enjoy!**

Cas and Dean looked at each other in panic before rushing to the door, Dean trying to open it with all his might, foot pushing against the wall next to it.

"Move!" Cas demanded, trying to open it himself.

After about ten minutes of fruitless pulling and shoving and cursing, they both were forced to accept that that door just wasn't opening.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, only to find it sticky with blood afterwards.

"Can't see a fucking thing," he growled, the pain of his battered body now finally sinking in.

There was a moment of silence as Cas walked to the only window in the room, drawing the curtains. The window was so small, Dean doubted his head would have fit through it, never mind the rest of his body. That was that escape plan down the drain.

That train of thought reminded him that he was actually in a lot of pain right now, and with a hiss he looked down at his body.

Cas did the same, and his brow furrowed.

"Come here," the angel muttered, touching his forehead and healing him.

"Thanks."

They were silent for a few moments.

"Looks like we're trapped here," Dean then said.

"Apparently."

"You sure you can't get us out?"

Cas looked pained. "I'm.. sure."

"Right. Son of a bitch is gonna fucking pay. Hang on, I'll call Sam."

Cas slowly moved to the other side of the tiny room, basically pressing himself against the wall to be as far away from Dean as possible.

The hunter cursed, chucking his phone through the small room. "God damn it! No reception."

He stared off into the distance for a while, before leaning heavily against the wall, sliding down onto the ground.

"Fuck," Dean muttered, covering his face with his hands. "Fuck."

"Dean, it's not such a big deal. Sam will know something's wrong and -"

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, Cas!" Dean snapped.

"Calm down -"

"No! Don't you fucking tell me to calm down, you stupid son of a bitch! You don't get it, do you? You don't.." he trailed off, running his hands through his hair.

"Of course I get it, Dean," Cas said quietly.

Dean looked up into Cas' sad eyes, and he felt a sharp stab of guilt run through him.

"I.. I'm sorry, Cas. I just.. you know.. This is.."

"Inconvenient for our situation?" Cas offered.

Dean let out a bitter chuckle. "You could say that."

Cas allowed himself a smile, and they looked at each other for a while, smiles slowly fading. Dean swallowed loudly, heart beating loudly in his ears.

"As long as you stay there and I stay here, nothing will happen," Cas said, his voice low.

"Yeah," the hunter muttered, rubbing his eyes, and keeping them closed afterwards.

Maybe if he couldn't see Cas, it wouldn't be that bad. He took a deep breath through his nose, becoming increasingly aware of the angel's presence only a couple of feet away from him.

After what seemed like ages, he finally opened his eyes, only to find Cas staring at him with his jaw and fists clenched.

A muscle twitched in Dean's cheek, and he forced himself to stay where he was, not moving an inch. He could actually feel sweat beading on his forehead from the effort. Cas watched him in silence.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, until Dean had to actually sit on his hands to keep them from shaking so badly. He had to do something to distract himself – to distract them both, even.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Yes?"

"I never used to believe in angels, you know."

Cas cleared his throat. "Yes, I know."

"And uh.. since I've been a bit of a douchebag to you lately.. whatever I say.."

The angel tilted his head.

"I'm glad you proved me wrong."

Cas smiled. "Wouldn't this be described as one of your hated 'chick-flick moments'?"

Dean smirked. "Shut up. If you ever breathe a word of this to Sam, I swear to your dad I won't be responsible for my fucking actions."

They both chuckled, until it fell comfortably silent – at first. After a few minutes of listening to each other breathing again, Dean could feel the familiar tugging. He looked at Cas, taking in every detail of him. He saw the quickening pulse in his neck, the clenched fists with nails digging into the palms. The tired, tired eyes staring at the ground. The pale lips, the tongue darting out to wet them.

"Fuck this," he finally grunted, sitting up.

"Look, Dean," Cas said quietly, "don't worry. Nothing is going to happen. I won't let it."

"Cas, you don't get it.." Dean whispered as he slowly made his way to the angel, who immediately stiffened.

"I can't.. I want it to happen," he muttered, his hands reaching up to touch Cas' face. "I fuckin' hate myself for it. I'm too weak, Cas. I can't do this any more."

"Dean, no," Cas said softly, hands going up to grab Dean's and pull them gently away from his face.

"No, Cas. Enough," Dean hissed, his hands going up to tangle in the angel's hair. "It's gonna fucking happen sooner or later anyway. What's the point any more?"

"Dean," Cas said firmly, but with the hint of a tremble in his voice, as the hunter pressed his lips against his jaw. "Stop. You don't want this and you know it."

"Fuck, I want this," Dean groaned in his ear, sending shivers down Castiel's spine.

Cas tried to stand up, but Dean grasped him firmly by the shoulders and shoved him back down again.

"Oh, no. You're not getting out of this one. Not any more," the eldest Winchester said fiercely.

Cas stared at him with hard eyes, not saying anything for a while.

"Fine," he then growled. "You want to do this? Then we'll do this."

With those words, he lunged forward, grabbing the startled hunter's collar and yanking him towards himself. There was a tiny moment of hesitation as they felt each other's breath on their lips, before they simultaneously closed the gap. The kiss was needy, desperate and sloppy.

Cas let out a growl from the back of his throat, his hands roaming all over Dean's body.

He leaned forward until Dean was lying down, leaning up on his elbows. The angel attacked his neck, pressing his lips and grazing his teeth against it, making Dean shudder and groan under him.

The hunter's hands crept up under Cas' shirt, nails digging into his sides.

Cas moved his lips back up to Dean's again, kissing him hungrily.

"Dean," he breathed into the kiss every few seconds.

Dean roughly shoved the angel back before tearing off his trench coat. He didn't bother with the buttons on Cas' shirt, just ripping it open and tossing it over his shoulder. His hands went to his own shirt, but Cas batted his hands away and tore it off.

The hunter's hands crept up Cas' back, pausing when he felt something soft and silky, inches above the skin.

"Wha.."

He looked up at Cas' face, saw how his eyes were shut tight and his teeth were gritted, his breath coming in sharp hisses. Realisation dawned on him, and he tentatively stroked his fingers upwards, feeling the soft texture of feathers, sure enough.

The movement forced a wretched moan from the angel. Dean allowed himself a brief grin before he stroked the wings as far as he could reach, and then trailing his fingers back down again. Cas shuddered, and let himself go, his wings uncloaking.

Dean stared at them, speechless. They were even more beautiful up close. He watched the light reflecting on the black-blue wings, giving them a soft glow.

Cas watched Dean in silence. The hunter ran a finger along a few feathers, and the wing twitched slightly.

"Jesus, Cas," Dean muttered.

The angel pulled Dean towards him, biting and kissing at his jaw, his neck, his collarbones. Dean cursed beneath him, momentarily distracted from the wings. He suddenly felt the incredible pull of the bond, stronger than ever, and it made him gasp loudly. By the expression on Cas' face, he'd felt it too. They stared at each other for a brief few seconds before Cas made a low growling sound in the back of his throat and reached for Dean's trousers, practically tearing them off. His own were torn off by Dean before he had the chance to do it himself.

The incredible hunger took over them both, making them throw all their rational thoughts aside. Cas shoved Dean onto his back, and the latter pulled him along with him, smashing their lips together.

The hunter could feel soft warmth wrapping around him, and he opened his eyes to find that Cas had wrapped his wings around them both, cocooning them.

"Dean," Cas said through gritted teeth, obviously putting a lot of effort into stopping himself. "Do you trust me?"

Dean looked up in those blue, pure eyes, and he couldn't find anything he didn't love. He gave a short nod, words failing him.

And then Cas was inside him, and he couldn't breathe. He'd expected it to hurt, especially since it was his first time ever, but there was nothing. He supposed it had to do with the bond. All he could feel was pure pleasure, and hunger, and lust, and tons of other emotions which he couldn't bother to dwell on at the moment.

Dean was caught in a wave of moans and sweat and skin against skin, and the soft feel of feathers around them, shielding them from the little light there was. All he could see, feel, taste, was Cas.

_Castiel_.

The name was on his lips more times than he could count as the angel moved in him. His own hands stroked his ribs and his back, and finally his wings, and Dean saw how his angel was falling apart, not unlike him.

_Dean._

This man under him, this absolute beautiful human being with the brightest soul he had ever seen, was making him feel things he'd never thought he'd ever feel. With every touch, and moan, and kiss, and breath of his name, Cas could feel himself becoming overwhelmed by all the new emotions, the sensations. Every stroke of his wings made him shudder, and every thrust made him moan uncontrollably.

He felt like a man who had been insatiably thirsty all his life, and was now finally getting his drink of water.

There was nothing that had ever been, or could ever be, more right than this.

**Thanks for reading everyone, please leave reviews and tell me what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for the reviews, enjoy!**

The first thing Sam noticed when Gabriel opened the door was that the room reeked of sex. The second thing he noticed was that Dean and Cas were as far away from each other as possible, lying down in the far corners of the room.

"Dean!" he exclaimed, nearing his brother.

He saw with alarm that something was very wrong. Dean was propped up against the wall, his face pale and sweaty, his eyes half shut. Sam could hear his laboured breath as he touched his shoulder.

"Dean? Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, eyes scanning Dean for signs of injury.

"Of course he's not okay," Gabriel said, sounding annoyed. "Castiel, you stupid little -"

"What the hell are you talking about, Gabriel? What's wrong with him?" Sam snapped, interrupting him.

"Look, first things first. Let's get both these idiots back to safety." Gabriel snapped his fingers and they were in their motel room, Dean lying on his bed.

The latter cracked open an eye, attempting to smirk at his younger brother. "Hiya, Sammy."

"What the fuck happened to you, Dean?" Sam demanded, touching his brother's forehead. "You're burning up."

"I'll tell you what happened. Your brother and little Castiel here have been screwing," Gabriel said, raising his eyebrow, his mouth twitching into a smirk.

"What the fuck is this jackass doing here?" Dean grunted, before doubling over with pain.

"I'm here to help you, smart ass," the archangel snapped.

"Why?"

That was the first word Sam had heard Cas say since they'd found them.

"Look, it doesn't matter. Gabe, Dean doesn't look good," Sam barked, interrupting anyone who was planning on speaking.

"All right, all right, Sam. Castiel, come here."

Cas stood up, swaying slightly as he walked over to the bed.

"Cas, take Dean's shirt off."

"Woah!" Sam exclaimed. "Now isn't the time to indulge in your weird fetishes, man."

Gabriel rolled his eyes at Sam. "Do it."

After a moment of hesitation, Cas pulled Dean's shirt off.

"Your hand."

"But Gabriel -"

"For fuck's sake, just do it!"

Cas glanced at Sam before slowly putting his hand on Dean's hand print. Dean jerked up, his eyes flying open with a gasp. Cas looked like he was about to explode, and with a grunt he fell to his knees.

"Gabriel-!" Sam began.

The archangel put a hand on both Dean's and Cas' forehead, closing his eyes. Suddenly, the room was filled with a white light, accompanied with a high ringing sound which pierced right into Sam's skull. He gasped, crouching down and covering his ears with his hands.

"Sam!" Gabriel shouted. "Get out of here!"

Sam collected all his strength and crawled towards the door, trying to feel his way around. When he finally felt the door, he scrambled up and reached for the door handle. The sound piercing through his head quickly made him cover his ears again, though, and he sunk to the ground, groaning. All he could see and hear and feel was white light and white noise.

"Dean.." he groaned, before he fell flat on his face and passed out.

A few minutes later, he woke up to the light and noise fading, Gabriel truly looking like the archangel he was as he stood there, eyes lit up and pure power crackling around him like lightning. His enormous wings were silhouetted against the wall.

Sam sat there watching breathlessly as everything faded down.

Eventually, Gabriel turned his head, looking at Sam. He winked. "How you doing?"

Sam just stared at him before scrambling up, rushing over to Dean. Cas was on the ground next to him, seemingly unconscious.

"They won't wake up for another, say, 24 hours," Gabriel commented, fishing a chocolate bar out of his pocket.

Sam just stared at him, trying to form words. "Gabriel, what the hell?!"

Gabriel had just been about to take a bite out of his snack. "What?"

"Why.. what just.. how?" Sam spluttered.

The archangel rolled his eyes. "All right, sit down."

He snapped his fingers and suddenly Sam was sitting down in the most comfortable chair he'd ever put his backside on. Another chocolate bar appeared out of thin air.

"Chocolate?"

Sam shook his head wordlessly. Gabriel shrugged. "More for me."

"Gabriel."

Gabriel sighed. "All right. Dean and Castiel had sex."

As much as Sam wanted to cringe, he forced himself to let Gabriel continue.

"Having sex is the worst thing you can do when you're bonded together and you don't want to be."

"'Cause then you officially bond, right?"

"No."

"Wait.. what?"

"Nothing can undo a bond when it's properly formed, Sasquatch. Not even an archangel. I can't break bonds, I can only.. undo almost bonds."

Sam blinked. "You lost me."

Gabriel sighed. "All right, look. A bond is properly formed when their souls connect. It's not the same as having sex. Once the souls have connected, there is no way to ever undo it. They stay like that forever."

He took another bite from his chocolate bar before continuing.

"However, dear old Dean and Castiel here hadn't connected their souls. Yet."

Sam nodded, he had no doubt that if they'd been a bit later they would have done just that.

"That's why I could still undo it. They're a pair of very lucky idiots."

The youngest Winchester frowned slightly as he processed the information. "But.. what was wrong with Dean? Why did he look so bad?"

"Yeah, about that," Gabriel said while rolling his eyes, "My fucking idiot little brother didn't think. A bond between two angels is hard enough to withstand, never mind between an angel and a human being. When they screwed.." - Sam pulled a face - "Dean's soul became.. sick. It's like they'd been so close together, being apart was going to slowly kill him. It's a good thing I found him on time."

Sam sat there in silence for a few minutes. Gabriel walked over to Dean, poking his face.

"Uh, Gabe.." Sam began quietly.

Gabriel looked up.

"Thanks. You.. you kind of saved Dean's life."

Gabriel smirked. "I know, Gigantor. Don't think I'm going to let you forget this."

Sam smiled. Gabriel cleared his throat.

"So. We've got about 24 hours to kill. How does Vegas sound?"

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He was back in the Pit. He couldn't see a thing – they probably burned out his eyes again – but he could smell and he could hear. He smelled the charred flesh and blood and meat. He heard the tortured screams and wails and shrieks of pure anguish and agony.

He felt a scream brewing in himself, but it seemed as if his mouth was sewn shut because he couldn't part his lips. All that came out of him was a desperate, muffled noise that made his lungs feel like they were on fire.

_I can't be back. I can't be back. I can't be back._

"Hi there, Dean."

He froze completely as he heard that all too familiar voice.

"Did you miss me?" Alastair said, and even without seeing his face he knew he was smirking.

Dean started shaking uncontrollably, mentally begging anyone, anything, to get him out.

_Please. _

He heard Alastair chuckle as he felt a needle go into his throat. And another one. And another one.

Dean writhed around, choking on his own blood, praying desperately.

_Sam! SAM!_

Alastair started whistling, and Dean felt a blunt knife slice his body open from neck to navel. He felt – and heard – his guts falling out, and his uncontrollable, muffled and choked screaming intensified.

"CAS!"

Dean jolted upwards, sweat damp on his face as he panted harshly. He took a few moments to realise that he was in bed, that he was safe and warm and not being tortured. He looked around, and jumped when he saw Cas sitting next to the bed.

"Calm down, Dean. You were dreaming," Cas said in that solemn, reassuring voice of his.

"What.. what happened?" Dean asked, blinking.

Cas stood up, walking towards the window, facing away from him.

"Gabriel broke the bond," he answered rather shortly.

The hunter needed a few moments to process and understand that information. Everything came rushing back to him, up to the very last moment he was conscious. There were a million things he wanted to say and even more to ask, but he'd be damned if he knew how to.

"Where's Sam?" he asked instead.

"Gone with Gabriel."

"What? Why?" Dean asked, confused.

"It took you about 30 hours to regain consciousness, it took me 24. I suspect Gabriel didn't want to be bored. In fact, I'll let him know we're awake right now."

Cas hadn't turned around or even looked in his general direction during the whole conversation. Dean just stared at his back as the angel called his brother. He still felt dizzy and light-headed, and strangely empty.

A few seconds later, Gabriel and Sam appeared, looking way too happy for Dean's liking. His annoyance evaporated as soon as Sam grinned at him, his eyes lighting up.

"Dean!"

"Hey, Sammy."

Sam rushed over to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm just peachy."

Gabriel appeared next to him, and he abruptly put a hand on his chest.

"Woah, what the fuck?" Dean exclaimed, but the archangel ignored him.

"Come here, bro," Gabriel called over to Cas, and the latter obliged silently.

Gabriel put his hand on Cas' chest as well, and Cas showed no signs of emotion.

"Yeah. Bond is completely gone," the archangel then concluded, removing his hands.

"So.. it's over," Dean said slowly, looking up at Cas.

The latter stared back, nodding slowly. "I suppose it is."

Dean didn't know why, but he found that that sentence sounded incredibly human. Their eyes stayed locked, and the hunter felt weird fluttering in his guts, which he assumed was an after effect of the whole bond-removing thing.

Sam cleared his throat. Cas looked up, nodded at Gabriel, and vanished.

"Uhh.. wow," Sam said awkwardly.

"Guess no bond breaking could take away that stick up his ass," Gabriel said lazily. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Um.. yeah, thanks. Why the fuck did you agree to help us, anyway?" Dean asked, still a bit dazed and quite a bit hurt from Cas' abrupt disappearance.

"Because I like your brother," Gabriel said with a shrug. "Not that it was easy to convince me, though. Especially when I heard that it was to help you. But you were lucky since I was in a good mood."

"Great. I don't owe you anything now, do I?" he asked suspiciously.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "What do I look like, some crossroads demon?"

"Well, it's not like you usually do something out of the goodness of your heart. What's the catch?"

"Dean, there's no catch," Sam intervened. "He agreed to help me after some convincing. He found you, took care of that poltergeist and released you from that awful bond thing. That's it."

The eldest Winchester looked at Gabriel for a while, who returned his gaze with a wink. Finally, Dean sat up and held out his hand.

"Thanks."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, ignoring the outstretched hand.

"Right, I suppose that's my cue to go, Samsquatch. I'll see ya."

"Wait, Gabe. Can't you stick around for a while?" Sam asked.

Dean grimaced at the nickname, but didn't say anything. Gabriel grinned.

"I guess I could stay for a couple of days. Actually, I think I will stay, just to enjoy the show," he said slyly.

"What show?" Sam asked, confused.

Dean looked at Gabriel sharply. "Yeah, _Gabe_, what show?"

Gabriel just winked at them both, and vanished.

"Dick," Dean muttered.

Sam just rolled his eyes, standing up to get them some food.

**Thank you for reading, please leave reviews!**


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